Stories of Iceland

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????..)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

~~ EVER WONDER ~~

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Only in America.....

1. Only in America.....can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!)

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Just wanted you to know that I have put some pictures from England this summer on my pictures site...go have look...Please comment...Please Sign my Guestbook!!!

I can't believe I almost forgot to tell you about a dream I had about 2 weeks ago...it was really weird... :S so this is what happened;

I'm back in England, back at South Hunsley standsing by the bus layby but in the dream it's a car park, talking to two friends next to my old bright green beetle that is all rusty...when two teachers come out of the new building and start shooting at us...then all of a sudden my friends have dissappeared so I'm stood there all on my own getting shot at by two teachers, so I get in my beetle to find my cousin sat in the back going, "what areyou doing Salka? they're shooting at you! drive off!" things like that so I set off and the way out looks really easy but for some reason I can't figure it out and can't get out (shows how clever I am doesn't it!)...to me it's like a maze, so my cousin is shouting at me "go this way! go that way! etc.etc.etc!" then it kind of ends....I woke up....

and do you know what makes it even weirder is that I had the same dream a couple of years ago! except there was no beetle, no cousin and no new building...I keep having these really weird dreams....do dreams mean anything?

hmmm...something to think about...

DAMNIT!!! it didn't work....I can't get pics put on here!!!! GRRR!!!!

So at school I'm taking a language course... whivh means I have to take Icelandic, English, Danish, French and German...but last year because I have never learnt Dansih but everyone else had been learning it for approx. 5 years I had to take German instead (in the 1st year you have to take Icelandic, English, Danish and French or German but I took Icelandic, English, French and German)...so This year I am supposed to take Spanish instead of Danish :D very pleased with that...but I don't start Spanish til after Christmas so have a while to wait...but anyway the reason I'm telling you this is that there is a trip to Danmark for the students taking the language course...and it's not just any old trip...it's and exchange...we go to Danmark for a week then we get some Danish person for a week in March...at first I wasn't sure if I would be allowed to go since I don't take Danish but no I'm allowed so I handed in my form straight away....there's only one catch...I don't know any Danish...except for one litle song my friends taught me last year....Shall attempt to write it for you....anyone who knows Danish please corredt me if I'm wrong.... Here goes....

So, this morning I wake up and get a nice surprise...it's stopped snowing and the weather God's have even gone so far as to make it sunny, so a lot of the snow was melting....there was still quite a lot of snow but it was melting...so I was quite cheery but no, obviously the weather God's don't like me cheery cos it started snowing again at around 3 o'clock and has been snowing since.... so I was going to take a picture to show you how much I am hated by the weather God's but no! the battery was dead so I have to wait...and knowing me I'll probably forget so you'll have to be patient....

my god! how boring am I?!? I have nothing better to talk about then the weather!!! let's see....is there anything else I can talk about?...you know not much really happens here....oh I know here's a poem for you all...something to make you think...

So you know I told you yesterday that it started to snow...well it hasn't stopped snowing all day today and just about everything is white!!! covered in snow!!! and I kind of feel sorry for the trees cos they're not ready for winter yet...they've still got all they're leaves and everything!!!! everything is so green still... it shouldn't be snowing!!!! :S :( yeah I like the snow...in november, December and January... NOT in September!!!! it's still supposed to be ok in betweeny weather!!!I don't really know what to do!!! I wasn't prepared for this!!! But it is kind of pretty to look out the window, as I have a gorgeous view and now everything is white and looks very pretty, may take some pics and post them on my photo site....

anyways, today was VERY enjoyable :D I went to school and had double period Icelandic which wasn't bad cos we were doing group work and all I had to do was write what I was told to write :P then french which is always enjoyable :D then german :( which normally I hate but then the lesson only lasted about 15 mins :D:D then maths which put a bit of a damper on the day but not to bad cos the teacher hardly spoke all lesson which is good cos he talks stupid and mumbles and it REALLY pisses me off (" MUMBLER!" for those of you who have seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!!!! :D) then I set off to English until Erna pointed out that I only have to go to English on Mondays and today is friday and that just made my day as it meant I was finished at 12:10 in stead of 1:00 and then in French we were told that there was no PE which would have been at 13:50 and lasted til 14:30 which meant I was finished at school, what, 2 hours early!!!! :D:D:D:D YES!!!! how great is that?!?!?

then at 20 to 5 I went to the gym and was there for 2 hours!!!! am very proud and am now extremly tired!!! :P just wanted to tell you...

anyway;

See you later alligator, Good bye crocodile!!! :P

I just thought of something that I wated to tell you all but I kind of forgot :S how stupid can you get? I'm like a goldfish!!! do you think there is a way I can get fixed? I forget everything...I start to do something, get interupted and then forget I was doing something and leave the "job" unfinished... Please let me know if you think of something....

This morning the whole school got to have the first lesson off because there was a "dance" (don't really know what to call it coz it's not a ball, a party, a disco but kind of a disco... :S don't really know...) but anyway it was lots and lots of fun...I enjoyed myself immensely!!!! :D:D:D it was really good, there was a DJ who played a lot of good songs including Don't stop me now- Queen... which made me very happy :D I wore a top that I bought in spring but I've only used once as a found it is very open at the front and can't move without flashing everyone but I really wanted to wear it so in the end I sellotaped it to me... hehe :P but half way through the night it all started to fall off so that didn't really work out for me :P but I didn't flash anyone so it's ok :)

anyway, this morning when I woke up I was very thankful for that extra hours sleep but I was still knackered so it took me 15 mins to get out of bed, so having finally done that I went to the kitchen where when I looked out my window saw white...it was snowing!!! What is that?!?!?!? It's still september!!!! what was I thinking, moving to country made of ice? I can't hack the cold!!! and it really didn't help how I was feeling cos I was tired, stiff cos I've been to the gym every day this week:D am very proud of myself :D and I danced the night away last night which just added to the stiffness :S but it was fun so I can live with it...

and, your never going to believe this but, I actually enjoy going to the gym :-O but it's kind doesn't make sense cos I still hate sports...hmmm...oh and the muscles in my arms...that used to be none existent are now existent!!!! :D:D:D How happy am I?!?!?!?! :D:D

You are never going to believe what I did today!!! I, Salka hater of sports and anything that means I have to move, went to the GYM and bought a membership card that lasts a month and spent A HOUR running and lifting an stair mastering and sweating and all that stuff....oh my god I thought I was going to die! I must be made though cos I'm going back tomorrow...and then I'm going to try the bikes....It's not that bad though cause there are TV's infront of the running machines and bikes so if you bring some head phones you can listen to music or watching something....I watched some sponge bob square pants, but I didn't have any headphones so there was no sound :S....anyways right no I'm sat in my gorgeous red leather corner sofa feeling like my limbs have stopped working...especially my arms!!!I can move my fingers no problem but when I start moving my arms up and down and stuff...oh my god I feel like I'm going to die!!! :( It's all Erna's fault! she dragged me there...but now I've paid for the membership so I'm going to get my monies worth!!! anyway my family spent all christmas and summer telling me that I had got fat and had to do something about it and had better start moving!!! reckon they are very proud of me...don't you!!! I had better look good after this month...or I won't be very pleased...I'll just go back to sitting on my arse all day and stuffing my face....

Well then...I'm back in Akureyri except this time I'm not living on the dorms....I'm living in the apartment my parents bought....unfortunatley I'm not on my own as I originally thought but my sister is living with me as she decided to go to University here....but it's all good :P...anyways, sorry it's been so long since I wrote last but I have been very busy this summer, working and I didn't have unlimited access to the internet as I do here...I was goin to blog the other day but I forgot my Username and password :S and when I tried to "retreive" it I didn 't get the email.... :P

started school yesterday :S oh the joy!!! no it was ok getting to meet everyone again but....it's school and I've despised it since I was a little girl!!! I think it was in year 2 when I made my mum go into school with me and make her tell the teacher I had tummy ache everyday because I really didn't want to go to school...after about half a year my teacher suggested to my mum that she should take me to hospital! :P hehe

Well I'll write some more later!